Things to Think About

To this page, I just add, as I find it, various career related miscellaneous information - some funny, some just interesting.

Click on the heading to go directly to that place on the page
- Unusual Job Seeking Strategies (1)
- Unusual Job Seeking Strategies (2)
- Skills Identification - look at a waiter
- Skills Identification - Just a housewife!

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UNUSUAL JOB SEEKING STRATEGIES (1)

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Please don't try this if you want the job!

This one has been around for a long time - but there are probably some of you out there who haven't come across it yet...... (I'd love to know what he's doing now!)

This is an actual application someone submitted to a McDonalds fast-food restaurant ....... AND THEY HIRED HIM!
 

NAME:  XXXX XXXXXXXXX

DESIRED POSITION: Reclining. HA! But seriously, whatever's available.  If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.

DESIRED SALARY: $185,000.00 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package.  If that's not possible, make me an offer and we'll haggle.

EDUCATION: yes

LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility

SALARY: less than I'm worth

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes

REASONS FOR LEAVING: it sucked

HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: any

PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30 - 3:30 pm Monday, Wednesday and Thursday

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS: yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment

MAY WE CONTACT YOU CURRENT EMPLOYER: If I had one, would I be here?

DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?
                of what?

DO YOU HAVE A CAR? I think the more appropriate question would be "Do you have a car that runs?"

HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION? I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearinghouse Sweepstakes

DO YOU SMOKE? only when set on fire

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN 5 YEARS? Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy super moder, who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread.  Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE? No, but I date you to prove otherwise.

SIGN HERE: scorpio with libra rising

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Unusual Job Seeking Strategies (2)
Talk about using transferable skills!!!

This classified ad appeared in the Financial Post in Toronto, Canada, on February 23, 2001

Classifieds

Employment Wanted

Former Marijuana Smuggler

Having successfully completed a ten year sentence, incident-free, for importing 75 tons of marijuana into the United States, I am now seeking a legal and legitimate means to support myself and my family.

Business Experience: Owned and operated a successful fishing business, multi-vessel, one airplane, one island and processing facility.  Simultaneously owned and operated a fleet of tractor-trailer trucks conducting business in teh western United States.  During this time I also co-owned and participated in the executive level management of 120 people worldwide in successful pot smuggling venture with revenues in excess of US$100 million annually.  I took responsibility for my own actions, and received a ten year sentence in the United States, while others walked free for their cooperation.

Attributes: I am an expert in all levels of security.  I have extensive computer skills, am personable, outgoing, well-educated, reliable, clean and sober.  I have spoken in schools to thousands of kids an parent groups over the past ten years on the "consequences of choice" and received public recognition from the RCMP for community service.  I am well traveled and speak English, French and Spanish.

References available from friends, family and the US District Attorney etc.

Please direct replies to:............XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX 

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Skills Identification - look at a waiter

No one in their right mind would say that being a waiter / waitress / server is an easy job.  But, for family restaurants and the like, prerequisites to the job are relatively few.  Experience preferred, yes, but you don't need a degree, or special training in most cases.  Many high school and college students work in this capacity while getting their education.

Have you ever stopped to think what having been a waiter allows you in all honesty to put on your resume?

Here are a list of skills - and it is undoubtedly incomplete - of a good waiter.